"Three boys go to a farm to steal chickens. The farmer hears them and rushes to the farmhouse. So the boys jump into three potato sacks and hide. The farmer kicks the first sack and the boy inside says, 'Meow!'. He kicks the second sack, and the boy inside says, 'Woof!' pretending to be a dog. When he kicks the third sack, the boy inside says, 'Potatoes!'"

"There are things which must cause you to lose your reason or you have none to lose"

"Noah's feet don't touch the ground when his legs dangle over the edge of the bench, but his head reaches all the way to space, because he hasn't been alive long enough to allow anyone to keep his thoughts on Earth."

"Saeed is a poet, a terribly heartless poet. He won't slaughter a chicken with knife; he'll wring its neck, pluck its feathers and then make broth out of it. He will drink the broth, chew on the bones, then sit in a corner comfortably and write a poem about the chicken's demise, with tears in his eyes."

"A couple of degrees behind your name could make all the difference, even if you can't put them down in right order."

"No bargaining unless you have a gun."

"Wife and dog missing. Reward for dog."